blog ni gorgeous

this day turned from bad to worst

2006-06-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

today's a bad day for me because people went shopping without me..they said because i wouldn't wake up(if they told me that we'd go shopping, then i would've woken up!) and they made it even worse when they didn't shop for me(they say it's because they do not know my size..oh come on! that's the most pathetic excuse i've ever heard in my entire life!!)

can't think of any

2006-06-16T04:06:00.000-07:00

i can't think of anything to type here...nothing bloggable about this week except for the 1st day of classes where nothing really happened..i mean nothing bloggable...

make believe

2006-05-05T02:32:00.000-07:00

i always make myself believe that my father doesnt hate me. i always make myself believe that someday my dad's gonna change and that all i have to do is give him another chance. i always make myself believe that somehow things are gonna be fine. but the more i make myself belive in these and a lot more lies...the more things get complicated. the harder for me to live life. the tougher it is to wake up each morning knowing he's there to make me feel how god was so wrong that He even created me. as much as i want to live a happy and normal life, its just so impossible for me with him around me. why can't i ever make myself believe that IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU'RE FATHER HATES YOU???

one tree hill

2006-04-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

there are more than 6 billion people in this world and sometimes all you need is one...

fallen

2006-03-06T03:45:00.000-08:00

i met this guy once...and he changed my life since then..

i never believed in "love at first sight" until i met you...

people hate me

2006-02-10T02:00:00.000-08:00

i don't know if i'm just being paranoid or something but i feel like my friends are.....backstabbing me.

i don't know...

it hurts so much for me to say this,but, sometimes when i'm with them, i feel rejected...

...i wish i'm just being paranoid...

mathematics of love

2006-01-05T02:57:00.000-08:00

You add gentle touches to my life, and subtract the pain someone left behind. Let's multiply our hearts that is full of love and we will divide the memories of hatred in the past...

hatred

2005-12-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

My family doesn't love me...and it breaks my heart to know that because they mean the whole world to me...

hihintayin na lnag kita sa langit..

2005-11-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

i super love this song...ever
sa langit by moonstar88
...
paano kaya mapapansin
pagibig kong itong laging bitin
panay sulyap, puro tingin, hindi na talaga lilingunin
lagi na lang nasasaktan
puso kong itong nagdurusa
laging pinipilit
pagibig koh sa iyoy dingin
hihintayin na lang kita sa langit
marahil doon ay puno ng pagibig
siguro naman ako ay pansin
pagbibigyan kahit mga bituin
paano kaya mararamdaman
pagibig mo laging dasal
marahil nga'y doon na lang sa langit

blahblahblah

don't forget...flirtaciousbitch.multiply.com...thanks!

pretences

2005-09-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

haha! kala niyo masaya koh...kala niyo i'm so happy today because all i did was to laugh...maybe you thought that today is a laughing day for me...haha!!! KALA niyo lang yun...

kung gaano koh kadami tumawa today...ha!...ganoon kalakas ng pain na nararamdaman koh!!...(parang ang sakit nun ah?!)grabe as in right now...ang bigat ng pakiramdam...i feel like someones making me sakal...ang sakit...can't breathe...

WHY?!

kaw ba naman if you knew that the person you love and you thought loves you back(ouch...grabe...)it turns out that she's only using you to get close to your friend because its your friend who is her crush and not you...

you know what hurts me the most...she made me believed na..ganun...gets moh na yun...its hard to say kasi cant accept eh!!!

she...her...OO!!!tibash nanaman ang nakasalo ng puso koh...i know its ugly..pro...thats life...

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

moving on

2005-09-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah! im moving on!!
My lola is at peace now!(i've finally accepted that fact)
I know my lola is so happy right now.
I know my lola will now live for eternity happily and full of love(more than ever)
And knowing those things, i'd be at peace...

today is my lola's birthday...greet her in your prayers...

To my dearest Nanay,

Happy birthday nanay!
Happy birthday nanay!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday nanay!

Hugs and kisses, love and misses, Ayie

Missing Someone

2005-08-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

i was so (totally) lucky for the past months and i can't believe how stupid, how immature, how inconsiderate, how insensitive, how greedy, and how tightfisted i was during those days. imbasil me! it diddnt even cross my mind that someday, fate will ask me to return these favors. to think that these favors were so little that it wont even have a part in my future. minute joys gigantic sorrows. while destiny gives gladness, it asks for life in return. can you see how unfair it is?!

i shouldnt have known sir nico, i shouldnt have embraced each moment that i saw sir nico, i shouldnt have seized each day i was close to john, i shouldnt have forced myself to have a closer relationship with ms espiritu, i shouldnt have lured myself (for such short time) with these pleasures if it takes a loved one to be gone forever.

as each day passes by, it gets harder and harder for me to accept the fact that someone very dear to my heart has gone for eternity.

CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S TOO LATE

message sent in my email

2005-08-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share this beautiful and touching story to all of you...

>You'll definitely cry...promise...

>yeah!i cried…kasi I forced myself to…haha…k lng…not naman tlga kakaiyak…slight lang…

>> (ENTRY) One Red Rose

> I Have Survived Essay Writing Contest!

> Third Place & Reader's Choice Winner

> Date Posted: 2/4/2005 8:00:55 PM> Author: zirma guevarra

>>>> "Hey Mommy, what are you staring at? Are you listening, Mom?"

>> "I said, after watching Enteng Kabisote, let us pass by at Dad's

> favorite record store and buy him a new CD."

>> "Shhhh... All right, Josh...," I whispered. "Mom heard you loud andclear,"

> I replied.

>> Josh just turned 5 years old last December 25. Those five years of

> being a Mom to a very handsome, sweet and smart kid is probably the

> most exciting and fulfilling stage of my life.

>> I'll be 28 years old this Feb. 14. At my age, I can recognize all the

> anime characters -- from Ghost Fighter to Ragnarok, to Lupin to Mask

> Ryder.

>> Josh loves watching television and most of the time, I am his TV buddy.

>> Whenever I would arrive home from work, he is always ready with his

> never-ending stories of what he did at school and what had happened to

> Mask Rider Ryuki.

>> Some of my morning rituals, though repetitive, are never boring. I

> usually wake up at 5AM, take shower, prepare Josh's uniform, and make

> sure all his stuff are inside his bag including his baon.

>> Then I would wake up his yaya and ask her to give Josh a bath, while I

> prepare myself for the office.

>> In between putting on my blush-on and lipstick, I would always hear

> Josh giggling, yelling and making fun of his Yaya Ella.

>> In most times, I would get jealous of Ella, they get along well.

>> Josh is much like his dad, they are both makulit. At his young age,

> Josh loves listening to music and oftentimes mimics all rockers he> sees on MTV.

>> Before Josh disrupted my thoughts about the CD he wished to buy for

> his Dad, I was in a trance, pondering the first time I met Kelvin...

>> It was Valentines Day of 1997 when I first laid eyes on him, it was

> also my 20th birthday then.

>> I found myself sitting alone in one of the waiting sheds of the

> campus, when I noticed him walking directly to my direction.

>> He was wearing a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

>> Every stride he made toward my place made me nervous.

>> His good looks and boyish features became too evident as he came closer.

>> I was so conscious that I stood up and tried to walk away until he

> called out, "Mariz, wait!"

>> I stood still, thinking, "how did this guy whom I never met before

> know my name?"

>> As I turned my head and looked back, he smiled and uttered, "HappyValentines".

>> He then handed me a red rose.

>> I smiled back, sat down and we talked.

>> I learned that Kelvin was an admirer, who befriended one of my

> classmates to get to know me as well.

>> He confessed that he, together with my classmates, really planned that

> particular day -- I found out it was the reason I sat alone, waiting

> without my usual tropa.

>> We talked for almost an hour -- we were comfortable conversing. I

> learned that we were both on our junior year, he was taking up ECE

> while I, Business Ad. We both studied at PLM.

>> Kelvin and I became very close -- he loved poetry and music; I liked

> cross stitching.

>> He was always the first one to laugh whenever he delivered a joke. As

> for me, I often laughed at his jokes because he laughed like a

> gorilla.

>> We became inseparable since the first time we met. Kelvin became the

> closest person to me aside from my family.

>> On the eve of my graduation, after more than a year of friendship /

> courtship, he became my first boyfriend.

>> In 1998, I graduated from college, and Kelvin was on his 5th year in ECEthen.

>> I remember during the graduation rites at PICC, Kelvin was hesitant to

> come and see me receive my diploma because that will also be the first

> time for him to meet my family. I forced him though. I introduced

> Kelvin to my family, oh, I could not forget that scenario. He was so

> nervous and pale.

>> June of 1998, I was employed in one of the top corporations in

> Ortigas, while Kelvin was on his last year in Engineering.

>> At that time, we saw to it that our relationship will not be tested by

> the temptations of the corporate world and tried our best to fight his

> insecurity of still "being a student".

>> Every relationship, as they say, has its ups and downs. Kelvin started

> to show signs of jealousy and insecurity. We seldom went out on dates,

> he always had excuses.

>> Behind all his aloofness, I knew then that he just did not want me to

> spend money on our dates.

>> His pride was slowly tearing our relationship apart during those times.

> There were couple of nights I spent crying instead of resting. My

> co-workers were asking me to give up Kelvin, they insisted that life> and love in college was different when starts working in the corporate

> world.

>> October 26, 1998, Kelvin's birthday. I surprised him while he and his

> study group were busy finishing their case study on Microprocessor

> Clock Speed.

>> I showed up wearing my old college uniform. He was shocked and he

> stared long at my old uniform, then he embraced me so hard that I

> raced for my breath.

>> When he let go, I saw tears in his eyes. He kept repeating how much he

> loved me and that he was sorry for pushing me away.

>> He confessed that, he was so jealous and insecure that he wanted me to

> find some other guy that could treat me out in any restaurant I

> wanted; buy me anything I pleased; or fetch me with nice cars; and

> shower me with gifts.

>> Then I found myself crying for I never had known then how much I loved

> Kelvin, until I knew how sensitive he was.

>> How he wished to give me the WORLD, when I only longed for a single redrose.

>> February 14, 1999, on my 22nd birthday, he gave me one red rose; same

> as what he gave me when we first met two years before.

>> And I swore then, that was the only thing I wished to receive.

>> Thursday, April 1, 1999, Kelvin fetched me from work. He bragged all

> afternoon, he said he will graduate on the 30th, Friday.

>> He kept on asking me to address him as Engineer Kelvin Regalado. I did.

>> That night, we made love for the first time. It was passionate and

> unforgettable.

>> April 18, 1999, our 2nd anniversary, Kelvin composed this poem in front ofme.

>> Star shine's bright on a darkest night...

> being with you makes every thing right...

> here is my heart with love as pure as white...

> here are my arms that will hug with all my might...

>> at the bottom of the lighthouse maybe the darkest, amidst fears and

> sorrows... I'll be abreast atop mountains and hills maybe the

> loneliest but if you find yourself there..... close your eyes think of

> me... I'll be there, my dearest.

>> Exactly a week before Kelvin's graduation, at around 5:30 in the> afternoon, I received a message from my beeper, it was from his> younger brother, Jethro.

>> The message said, "Kuya is at PGH, emergency room".

>> I hurriedly jumped into the first available taxi, I was literally

> crying a river.

>> I was accustomed to be greeted with smiles by Kelvin's family, but

> that night was different. They were all crying, and I needed not any

> word from them to know what was happening.

>> Jethro nonetheless, told me the whole story -- The police came to

> their house and brought them to the hospital because Kelvin was shot

> in a pawnshop hold-up incident and that his condition was critical.

>> Jethro narrated that while Kelvin was pawning his necklace which he

> received from his aunt as an advanced graduation gift, two hold-uppers

> suddenly showed up and shot both guard and Kelvin.

>> Jethro's last narration dropped like a bomb on my ears. Apparently,

> Kelvin told Jethro why he wanted to pawn the necklace.

>> "Alam mo Jethro, ayos tong gift ni Tita, isasanla ko muna, para

> ipambili ko ng singsing, ako magreregalo kay Mariz sa graduation ko."

>> April 24, 1999, Kelvin died. Up to now I can't find the words to

> express how I felt then.

>> April 30, 1999, all of us whom he'd touched, whom he'd shared jokes

> with; all those who had read his poems, who had heard his songs, were

> marching not toward PICC for his graduation, but to his funeral.

>> It was the worst breakup.

>> Two months after Kelvin died, I was diagnosed as pregnant. I cried and

> cried until tears rolled out empty.

>> My family spoke no word, they pitied me. I thought they would kill me,

> be ashamed of me, but that did not happen.

>> Both my family and Kelvin's supported me and showed how much they lovedme.

>> December 25, 1999, instead of humming Christmas songs and crying over

> the thoughts of not celebrating it with Kelvin, I gave birth to a boy

> I named Josh.

>> Since then, the happiness that Josh and I share is beyond what his dad

> would have planned for me.

>> I am no longer particular with dates and time, I don't even wear a> watch, and I just make each day with my kid a day to cherish.

>> Each day at the office is an opportunity to give Josh a better life,

> education and future.

>> It all started with one red rose.

>> And until there is a rose, I will never be hopeless.

>> "Hey mommy, are you crying?"

> "No son."

> "Magaling ba si Enteng?"

> "Di ka naman nanunuod, mommy eh."

> "Lika ka na, bili na tayo ng CD para ke Daddy."

> "Ayos, Mommy, tiyak mapapagalitan na naman si Daddy ni San Pedro dahil

> malakas na naman yun kung magpatugtog."

> "Di ba Mommy?"

> "Opo."

>>> End of story

>>>>>ugh...sweet kid!

life..oh life...

2005-08-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

hey! guess what...(weh..gusto pa my ganun!)

i learned something today!!! something important...not just to me but for anyone!!

i have learned that in life..you shouldnt be counting the blessingS(and i mean blesingSSSSS) God is giving you!!! coz you'll never know when its gonna end...i mean...youre dead na but still youre receiving blessingSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

you just have to be thankful for what the good Lord is giving you...

i don't know i'm just so lucky when it comes to some things....but totally not in studies...

and speaking of studies...

oh-my-gosh!!!i'm a big fuckin loser..(hey!sa studies lang...) i mean..hello!!what in hell has gotten into me!!! wala pa koh pinapasa!!!isnt that a big freakin fucker!!!

good thing 2 people inspires me(originally 3...the other one...i like him only when i see him)if not because of them...ive broke down na!!!!

STILL I THANK THE EVER GOOD LORD!!!

thank God its Friday

2005-08-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh!~~~holy shit!!!

youre not gonna guess what happened to me today!!!i mean never!!

i was like on my way to the bus (its parked somwhere infront of the gym) when i saw the plate number of this car...it looked familiar so i turned to my friend who was at my back coz she walks so slow!tpos she was shouting and then i was like totally screamin at the top of my lungs and we both ended up screamin and freakin out!!!my friend like kept saying sabi koh sayo nandito pa siya eh!...but i didnt mind her...coz i was really so kilig that time and i just felt like screamin, shoutin, and freakin out was never enough to make labas the feeling of kilig!!!

WHY?!!

coz its sir nico's car!!!!!!

fine! you might find it a little too babaw...but i dont give a damn bout whatever shit youre thinkin coz all im doin is typing an entry for my blog and that im so kilig today...

ALSO...

im really so happy today coz i saw sir nico and ms espiritu[this is so hard and so painful for me to admit but hey! they look pretty(as in pretty aileen)good together...ouch!] several times. oh and i saw sir john too..but not as much as the beautiful couple(ouch!!)

why am i so lucky kya the past weeks...i hope it doesnt mean anything except that im just lucky lang tlga...

same lang...i changed lng the color kc cnt c eh!

regrets...tsktsktsk!!!

2005-07-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

i was so wrong...i shouldnt have let my feelings decide for me! if only i thought of what could happen before i did it!! and now...here!!!

what the hell was wrong with me??! why did i do that??! instead of getting close to her,,tuloy shes making iwas na to me...my friend said that i am a paranoid...SANA NGA!!!! if only im like timmy turner who has fairygod parents so i can just wish to redo all these mistakes!!!
but no...

asa pa koh na mawala ang awkward feeling between us!!!

sana nga paranoid na lang ako!!
sana talaga i didn't do it na lang!!!

nikki youre my lucky charm!!!

2005-07-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh!!if yesterday was my lucky day, sorry!but today....today is my luckiest day ever!!!

WHY??

before our music class ended, nikki invited me to come with her in the canteen. i cant seem to decide whether im coming with her or not. so i pretended that i didnt hear her. after a few minutes she turned back to me, asked me again if i could come with her,(since im a good friend) i said yes! so nikki bought food already...we were on our way to the classroom....(it was such a long long way!)

i told nikki to make daan as n the two of us along admin lane. so nikki and i passed there.

TAPOS

i saw ms. espiritu(oh my Gosh..she is hell hot!!)if you make him a guy..shes gwapo...if you make her girl...shes pretty and hot...

continuation

so we walked already, then i saw sir john...oh my gosh..i cant hide my kilig na...sabay sir nico was there too....i was like...feeling so hot na...i mean..gets...i really dunno how to hide my kilig...i was like screamin (at the top of my lungs) inside. im really so ready to die that moment..i felt like im so complete...more than complete and more than happy...

grabe..i love JC...(the supernatural JC!!)

wait...i forgot..
sir john..he was just right behind me coz he'll go to the faculty computer lab...as in...gets...along admin lane...and then he was so near to me coz i occupied the whole area already coz on the left side there was this group discussing coz sir nico was present in the view...sorry..i passed by him!!but really im so happy!!

lucky day!

2005-07-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

yeah!you read it right!

"TODAY IS MY LUCKY DAY!!!"

wanna know why?! because i saw sir nico!!!!YEAH BABY!!!(oo na!!!late n kung late!!pero...) oh my gosh!!late na kung late..pero...sorry!!love koh na xa!!!love at first sight ito mga friends!!!i dont believe in it though..

pero yun na nga yun mga friends eh...i dont believe in"love at first sight" pero dahil kay baby nico koh....naniniwala na koh...i mean...sinasamba koh na ang quote na yan...from this day on...ang quote na yan ang magpapatakbo na ng buhay koh...dahil kay sir nico the love of my life!!!oo mga friends!!!i think ive found the one whom i'll share my life with ang drama nito!!!grabe na ito!!the moment i saw him....i right away said to myself...he's the one!!waha!!!!seryoso koh guys!!!xa na!!!

dati kapag tumitili ang mga tao dahil sa kanya...nakikiryd on lng ako...dati pag pinaguusapan nila kung ganung kagwapo si sir nico(screams at the top of my lungs!!!)cant relate ako...ngmumuka kong alien...dati kulang na lang pati kulay ng brief ni sir araw araw ay imemorize nila ako...deadma lang!!malay koh ba naman na ganun pala xang kagwapo...kung nalaman koh lang..e di sana inalam koh...(dali lang yun..with my charm...ay grabe!!)

BUT...butbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbutbut

that was before!!!

GUYS!!!that was before i meat the love of my life...before i found the person i'd spend the rest of my life with!!!

summary: today is my lucky day!!!

2005-07-09T00:40:00.000-07:00

> > One day, Plato asked his teacher,"What is luv?
> > How can I find it?" The teacher
> > answered, "There's a large wheat field in front.
> > Walk there without turning back, and take just
> > one leaf. If you can find one leaf that you
> > think it's extraordinary, it means you have
> > found luv." So Plato walked .. and not long
> > after that, he came back empty handed. The
> > teacher asked him,"Why don't you bring any
> > leaf?" Plato said, "I can only bring just one
> > leaf and when I walk I cant turn back. Actually
> > I have found one extraordinary leaf, but I dunno
> > whether there's anymore extraordinary leaf in
> > front, so I didn't take that leaf. When I walked
> > further, I realized that the leaves I found are
> > not as extraordinary as I've found previously.
> > In the end, I didn't ta! ke anysingle leaf."
> > Then the teacher told him, "So .. that is luv."
> > Another day, Plato asked his teacher
> > again, "What is marriage? How can I find it?"
> > The teacher answered, "There is a forest in
> > front. Please walk there and don't look back.
> > You can only cut one tree, and cut the one that
> > you think is the highest, because that means you
> > find what is marriage." Plato walks there, and
> > he came back not long after that bringing one
> > tree. The tree is not a very good tree and not a
> > very tall one, either. It's just an ordinary
> > tree. The teacher asked him, "Why do you cut
> > that kind of tree?" Plato answered, "Because,
> > according to my previous experience, after
> > walking thru the field, I came back with
> > nothing. So this time, when I saw this tree, and
> > I think the tree is not so bad, so I decided to
> > cut it and bring it here. I ! don't want to lose
> > another chance to get it."> > And the teacher said, "Well .. that is
> > marriage"
> >> > Little notes: The more you look for
> > luv, you will find nothing. Luv is in your
> > heart, when you can control your desire and your
> > hope to find something better. When you have
> > endless hope and wish of luv, you will only get
> > emptiness.. because you wont get anything and
> > time can not be turned back. Accept luv for what
> > it is. Marriage is a continuation of luv. It's a
> > process of having chances, and you choose the
> > best option among all the alternatives. If you
> > want to have a perfect match and a perfect
> > marriage, you will only waste your time, because
> > there is no perfect marriage. There is no such a
> > perfect human relationship.Have you ever
> > wondered why the shape of a heart is not a full
> > circle? 'Coz only GOD can fill in that space.

bad tirp tlga shit!!!

2005-07-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

all my friends are onlyn me lang hindi...
why?!
because the stupid computer is acting like an immature jerk again!!!
and fuck!i hate it!!!
shit tlga!!!
holy shit!
holy bitch!
holy fucker!
holy asshole!
holy jerk!
holy crap!
lahat lahat na!
really dunno kung anu prob ng bitch na computer na toh!!!
inis!!!

yes!!!issue ito nga peeps!!

2005-07-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

hi guyz!!'em back!!'em back coz i have something to share to you guyz!!-(boring!)-

wala lang!!!i just need to take this pain off my chest(weh!lalim!!) coz if not...wala lang coz if not lang!!!(fine!!i know its so corny!)

eh kasi..its so ouchy eh!!!(weh!arte!)d nga...seriously!!!i saw them kasi eh...and i dont want to tell na what i saw..xmpre sken na lang yun and w/in my circle of friends!!!

i just want to share lang naman kasi nga yun!!!

kainis..wla kasi me sa mood eh...dont worry pag naka move on na koh..share koh sa inio!!!(issue issue!)

going crazy by natalie~~~~~nice song!!!soper!!!as en!!!!

?!

2005-06-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

is it right to love someone who doesnt love me???!!!

is it right to force myself to love someone i dont love anymore???!!!

is it right to love someone you dont love to forget the pain youre feeling because the other guy doesnt love you??!!

gets nio?!

any advice???!!

ang hirap na,,,so painful pa!!!

wla lng

2005-06-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

wla lng..i just feel like blogging...

i hate it when i have fever!!!! it makes me sick(?!)

la lng tkga koh mgwa!!!

hala! i just sneezed and my sipon made talsik to the monitor...

going back...

yun nga..la koh mgwa!!!

tlgng kylngn double space?!

alam moh b...gs2 koh p xa i luv pero ayaw n ng heart koh..ay hypothalamus pla(sori ms mortel!)

pero in a way okay lng..d nmn kc kme talo eh!!! gets...my friends got that for sure!!!

hala! ubos n ung tissue koh...dami pang sipon!!!

lam nio b...i love my friends!!! i want them to be my friends for the rest of my life...

kht ako ung pinaka not so smart sa barkada nmen...the still accepted me!!!d cla ngglt or naiinis sken kpag ng mamalfunction brain koh...and most importantly,,,they friendship me for who i am...(i think?!)

un lng..till here n lng..paubos n internet card koh...

b4 i get cut....

byers na!!!!

wishin all my feelings were gone

2005-06-16T20:43:00.000-07:00

as the song goes(one last cry) one last cry one last cry before i leave it all behind(cant!!) i got to put you out of my mind(how is that possible?!i need to know!!)
I GOT TO BE STRONG FOR LIFE GOES ON...(without you?!how?!)

oh gosh its so bagay..the song one last cry...grabe!!!pero i ddnt cry...even if ts bcos of you..no!!!(no reason to cry...hindi k xa!!!)
yeah!!!iba ka..iba xa!...

i love jc!!!

JC completes me!!!

2005-06-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

wow! last wednesday was the first day of classes exhausting but fun...well..almost...my classmates...well...i find them okay...my adviser...not bad...classroom...(sigh)putacte!!!init!!!oh wait...my classmates pala are great!!!okay...teachers...cant do anything bout it....but in general...i think okay naman me sa kanila...i mean gets?!no prob with it!!!anyway i cant do na din naman anything about it eh...oh well...i do hope that this year would be nice...but actually...i dont get it...i miss my wanten family...uuuggghhh...pero my epapellas friends know why im kinda happy with my room...i mean...gets?!oh yah...putik na yan!!!first day na first day ang daming NOT ORDINARY homeworks...i mean...gets?! as in tipong out of this world sa hirap...kala yata college na koh!!!do i look that old?!!d naman siguro...i think youre over reacting!!(weh...kailangan daw may ganung dialogue?!)ah basta...putik!!!BUT!!!!!it doesnt matter kung mahirap ang homeworks,kung d koh xado feel ang teachers,kung mainit s place koh n tipong magkakaputok na koh dahil igalaw koh pa lang fingers koh ay nag roroll down na ang pawis koh right away,at kahit na i love my room(dahil?!)NOTHING would be able to swallow my happiness, my overwhelming blood, and my overjoyed heart(nakanaks naman ang drama!)when i knew that kyla's back na from the states...kasi i thought hindi na tlga xa babalik eh...but FORTUNATELY!!!i was wrong!!!yey!!!God is really good!!!trust me!!!totoo un!!!yey!!!I LOVE JC!!!(hi ms camacho)
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okay...game?!
oh my gosh!!!its really painful pala!!!as in... to see the person you love with somebody else...ay grabe...my hearts like a pearl shake sa sobrang crushed!!but pucha!!!seriously!!!masakit!!as in ouch kung ouch...aray kung aray...nararamdaman nio ba!!!ang sakit noh!!!grabe!!!d koh kinaya!!!pero...tanggap koh na!!!thats life!!!diyan naman si JC eh...d nia me iiwan...(ryt ms camac?!)thats why i can never let go of JC...I LOVE JC...
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sighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsigh
whew! kinulang ako sa hininga dun ah!!!(mag sigh ba naman kasi ng mag sigh?!)
------------------------------------------I LOVE JC------------------------------------------

the future is uncertain

2005-04-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

i got my card na...am i happy???not quite...k lng...wasnt bad...i ddnt see sir john...i insisted p nmn to my dad pra ksma me...but evrythn was useless...i ddnt see my friends,classmates,and my beloved...sir john...ang nkta k ln si sir al...but i ddnt mke him pncn...oh well...k n dn un instead of repeatin...thts more bearable...
...newey...
my cuzins will aryv hir on wnsdy...yey!!!m so xytd 2 mit thm...ts been a long tym snce i lst saw thm...that ws smthn happy...on the othr hnd...my friend...(the one i cnsdr my bst frnd n r grup...epapellas...)is leavn on wnsdy dn...(darn!!!)the bad prt thre is...shes nt sre kn fr gud n or nt...dnt yah thnk thts so sad...
...gosh...
how can dstny b so mean...my frnds seem to be leavn me one by one n...

holy molly(yes!!!nikki tot me tht!!!)ts tusdy n pla 2dy...whch means...tmrw s d dreadful dy!!!oh gosh!!!kyla n i hvnt seen each othr snce t ws summer...(ncldng the whle epapellas...oh fine...pti n dn my wanten fmily...)
oh gosh...is ths meant 2 happen...
i guess we just have to lt go of kyla and hope n ln fr d bst...
lts pry n ln tht smdy...hr prnts will dcyd tht nthng is up 4 thm n the st8s n tht thrs a bttr lyf hir n the phlpnes 4 thm(weh...d nga...)!!!

sana nga for vacation lang...

holy molly...this is so unbearable to bear...help!!!

2005-04-01T00:09:00.000-08:00

gosh!!!distribution of cards tomorrow!!!i'm not nervous though...is it because i'm a bit sure that i'll get failing grades...oh well..that's life...i cant do anything with it...if i pass...rejoice...if i fail...fail...no other choice but to accept it...ayt???!!!

look gorgeous,,you didn't even study...so why expect for a passing grade!!!come on!!!it's okay!!!anyway your gorgeous...so no problem with that...oh fine...just tryin to relax...it's true though...

low grades won't make me worry...but failing...oh gosh!!and repeating!!!holy shit...that can't be...oh God...please dont let that happen...i've been a very good student...and i promise to do better next year...(2nd year...not 1st...again...oh please...that's so unbearable!!!)

oh God,,please don't make me repeat 1st year...my family won't be able to accept the shame...even me...oh dearest almighty God of Gods...please...i'm begging...even if there's no more chance for sir John and i to meet ever again...in my whole entire life...it's okay...that's less unbearable than repeating and failing...(oh Lord...do i really have to do this...)(i guess...)seriously...i'm taking the risk....

please!!!pretty pretty me!!!

i miss nikki so much!!!

2005-03-14T22:22:00.000-08:00

it's been three days since my dear friend nikki left for the states...yah...it's been three days now...but still haven't moved on...the pain has not left my heart yet...and it seems that it has no plan of leaving my heart...but why...nikki and i are not even close...were just friends...i dunno...the thought of her being so far from me makes me wanna give up life...nikki...i'm missin you so much...so as the epapellas...oh well,,,like what abe said...it's okay if nikki leaves...even if were sad...it's okay...one person would be very happy anyway...her mom...

nikki...whatever happens...we want you to remember that we love you so much...and we'll surely miss you!!!...take care...hugs and kissess...

oh gosh...i'm acting like a stupid shit again!!!duh!!!nikki's just having a vacation in boracay...and epapellas will follow her after classes...isn't that fun!!!...great...

aileen===the gorgeous pinkbutterfly